Archive for March, 2009

Parent Know How

A new report that has taken over 2 years to compile presents some stark findings derived from interviews with over 30,000 children. The report, commissioned by the the Children’s Society, presents around 30 recommendations aimed at parents, teachers, government the media and society as a whole regarding what needs to be done to improve the childhood experience of most children.

The reason that children’s lives have become increasingly difficult has been found to be excessive individualism. Leading experts have concluded that excessive individualism has made people more competitive, more pressurised to own things and less inclined toward helping other.

Around 70% of the children interviewed said that parents getting on with each other is probably the most important factors in raising happy children. Children from broken families are 50% more likely to suffer from academic achievement issues, low self esteem and depression or anxiety.

The excessive exposure to television and the media that most children experience is promoting materialistic desires and breeding generations of consumers. And these consumers want to consume fast-food and more television and media.

Britain and the U.S. are top of the league for the worst advanced countries for well being amongst children. In Sweden 8% of children live at or below 60% of median income whereas in Britain the number is 22%.

The report makes some strong but practical and sensible recommendations. One of these is that people responsible for bringing children into the world should have a long term commitment to one another. Parents need to be provided with free parenting classes to make them fully aware of their parental responsibilities and how they can meet the needs of their children.

The report goes on to recommend that advertising to children under 12 should be banned and all advertising for unhealthy food and alcohol should not be allowed before 9p.m.

Being a child today, perhaps from a broken family, with limited income and with low educational achievement and no support at home, is an enormously difficult situation to contend with. It’s up to parents, teachers and society to recognise these difficulties and do what is required to fix things.

To encourage your little ones to play outdoors more I recommend getting some good quality outdoor play equipment, maybe a slide swing playset, to get the little ones outside to play.

A way to encourage this is perhaps by showing them that saving, even if it is just a small amount takes quite a time to save and a short time to spend.

A good old fashioned piggy bank is a way to get them to save their pennies and it’s also an idea to let them have something in mind to actually save for, maybe a new childrens toy that they have had their eyes on.

It really should not be deemed a hardship to expect children to actually earn their pocket money. I’m don’t mean massive chores but small tasks. Maybe just keeping  their rooms tidy or helping do small things around the house. This gives them a feeling of being responsible and to get a reward always helps. Maybe give them a toy such as their own carpentry set and then they can actively help Dad to do some repairs around the house.This will make them feel grown up.

As a child I remember being allocated my own piece of garden! This was in fact a piece of the garden which was solely my responsibility. I was allowed to grow exactly what I wanted to and ended up with an assortment of vegetables and flowers!
This gave me no end of pleasure and perhaps that is where my love of gardening originates from. It also meant that I made a contribution to the family table albeit my efforts weren’t always that fruitful. Nevertheless it was a start and it gave me some responsibility for.

Pocket money is a parent’s individual choice but as a rule I think it’s a great idea to give children the chance to learn the value of money and hopefully not take it for granted.

Let’s face it! Parenting is definitely not an easy job.Especially if your child has behavioral problems. Most parents tried hard to change their child but ends up frustrated due to a lack in results. It is vital to understand that we cannot change our kid’s behavior until we are able to teach them the skills they need to be accountable for their behaviors.

Here are 10 points that i would like to share with you. Hopefully you will find it less stressful whenever your child is getting on your nerves. These are mere extracts of the total 27 tools in one of the lesson, that you will find in The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman.

1) Use direct statements

You need to be firm, clear and direct when you are dealing with a child’s bad behavior. Do not give rooms for negotiation. This will only give a child leeway for future misbehaviors.

2) Stop the show

If you find that your child is misbehaving badly or exhibiting tantrums, say in a public place, then stop whatever programs that you’ve planned for the day and go home. I know this can be tough, especially when you have already planned for the day. But if your child is misbehaving, he needs to know that there isn’t any “exciting” activities for the rest of the day unless he stops his bad behavior.

3) Use consequences to get honesty

Take lying for example. If you child is lying then you need to set some consequences for the action. Turning a blind eye will only goes to tell your child that its ok to lie.

4) Be clear about your values

Communicate to your kids about your family values. It’s always easy for a child to understand values if this is ingrain into them at an early age. Start early. If your child has grown past his toddler years, don’t give up. It’s still not too late. A child will learn by observing you. Do not just talk about values, show them how you embrace those values as well.

5) Identify Thinking Errors and Excuses

How many times has your child come up with excuses to justify his bad behavior ? Don’t argue over those excuses. Focus on the processes of their excuse, NOT their excuses!

6) Use Single-Issue Focus

Keep focus on the issue. Always address unrelated subjects at a later time.

7) Cueing

This is the single most effective method that I have used on my kids. Try ways to establish cues between you and your child. This can be very helpful if you are in a public place and a stare at him and communicate the message that he is in trouble if he continues misbehaving.

Use strategic recognition and affection

Give your kid credit when he does something right. Let him know that you recognize his efforts.

9) Give basic direction

I know this sounds simple. But sometimes we parents forget that our kids are still kids and that they need basic instructions for certain tasks. Lead and guide them by showing them the right way to do certain tasks.

10) Demand and expect compliance

Parents need to know why their kid has to comply. Compliance is not submission without an understanding of why. Every parents has to understand why they want their kid to comply. Is it just out of anger? Or you want certain truths and values to be imparted to your kid.

 

 

Child proofing your house is a major consideration whether you’re expecting a kid or already have them around the house. Threats to your infant’s safeness can be found everywhere, but sometimes they can be found in the most unexpected of places – your house.  Children between the ages of 1 and 4 are actually more likely to be killed by poisoning, drowning, fire, choking, or falling in their own house than from any other threat. Every year, approximately 2.5 children a year are killed or injured inside their very own household.  You have to do more than just put your infant in an approved playpen, like a Little Playzone, and expect them to be ok. Taking steps to baby-proof your house is extremely important.

Step 1: Look Over Your Area
See if you can imagine toddling or crawling around your home. Picture your viewpoint from your baby’s perspective. Which things would you try to reach?  What would tempt you?  What things might fall over?  Would you pull on anything or try to use it to stand up? Try to spot things that my go into your baby’s mouth – any choking hazards or poisonous items. Either remove those things, secure them, or put them out of harm’s way. This step is critical.

Step 2: Guard Your Electrical Outlets
Assess and locate all of the outlets in your household. Are they in use? Can they be completely covered up? Plastic plug coverings are not recommended – they are very tempting for a child to remove. As soon as your infant can remove them, they’ll go right into your their mouth – a serious choking hazard.  Replace the full outlet covering instead.  Use the kind that has a sliding safety latch if you need access to it. Also, look for any electrical cords or extension cords with connections – secure these with electrical tape.

Step 3: Survey Your Furniture Situation
As soon as your child begins to crawl, they’ll begin pulling up on furniture or anything around them that they can grab onto.  While its a good idea to start with a proper playpen, like a Little Playzone, it is a good idea to plan for every eventuality – they will want to explore as much of your house as you’ll allow. Keep televisions back from the edge of furniture so that they can’t fall (every year, 5,000 children go to the hospital due to fallen TVs or furniture) and secure all moveable furniture.

Step 4: Create a Play Area
Creating a safe room for your child to play with safety gates is a good idea. Keeping your child in a specific room or just keeping them away from specific rooms (like the bathroom or the kitchen) is easy with safety gates. If you’re using safety gates to block the top of stairs, make sure to use the type that can be secured by screwing them into the door frame rather than just pressure. Of course, another option is to place your infant into a playpen or even a Little Playzone by Friendly Toys, for the peace of mind that your baby won’t go too far.

Considering the risks involved, you can never be too safe when baby proofing your house. Build a safe play haven, cover your electrical outlets, assess your furniture situation, and evaluate every inch of your home.  You’ll be well on your way to creating safe, nurturing environment for your newborn .

In my experience as a Austin divorce attorney, I have learned that there is no more challenging issue for families than the impact of divorce on the children that are involved. Despite the fact that kids might experience trauma as their parents grew apart over time, the real damage from such an event can come when the separation is compete.

You can learn more about some of those life changes by watching our Austin divorce seminar. Adults in the life of the child become very important as sources of understanding, love, support and caring. Teaches and TA’s are the adults most commonly associated with kids on a regular basis in a school.  This short article provides some guidance and information for educators working with children from divorced families.

Educators should first be alert to changes that occur in children as the change at home unfolds. Since the No Child Left Behind Act, many educators have started to focus solely on that program and teach exclusively to it. In the process, concerned educators have become focused on the process and less focused on the day-to-day needs of the children in their classrooms.

Secondly, educators should become familiar with resources in the community that are available for children living in divorced homes. Financial assistance for child care and after-school programs for single parents are just a couple of examples.

The third point is that both teachers and school administrators should promote the inclusion of social workers that can help kids deal with divorce. Since children the majority of each weekday at school, this is the natural location for behavioral health services and related social supports.

Most importantly, educators need to set aside time to listen to the newly single parent in parent-teacher conferences and other meetings where one-on-one contact with the parent is possible. That small amount of time gives the parent a much needed opportunity to share frustrations, ask questions about changes that may be occurring in the child, and share information with the teacher that may be helpful in working with the child.

Significant changes in a child’s life that are not addressed in the early stages of the change can lead to life-long emotional and attachment challenges for the child. We understand this need and attempt to minimize the impact to children by using collaborative lawyers in Austin. Teachers have a unique opportunity to intervene and support kids at a very important point when they need it the most. A key action steps for today’s teacher is to provide openings for conversations with a child and to take the time to recognize changes in them.